I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
