We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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