Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
