Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
