I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
