just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
