Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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