shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
