Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
there is glitter all over my balls
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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