After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
