do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
