Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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