you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
