I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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