I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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