Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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