So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think my fart just growled at me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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