The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
