they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
