I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
