Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
