I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
im six kinds of drunk right now
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
