Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need a beard to bite.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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