I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
