So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
