Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
