God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
