just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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