Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
tell me about the fingering
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
