SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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