I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
