i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
