so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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