You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
