We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
