This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize