You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
BRING THE BAGELS
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
