I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We left an ass print on the piano.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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