Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
