May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
