Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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