Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
