i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
