plz talk dirty to me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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