think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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