don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
