Your tits are I can't wait for
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
worst night to have a conscience
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We have started to decorate penises.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
