so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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