my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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