she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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