Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
