respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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