it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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