I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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