OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
