So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
