so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
