The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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